My dear friend Cathie reminded me this morning that Nelle Morton's essays in "The Journey is Home" started us out in a deep reflection of silence and speech many, many years ago. In one of the essays she reflects on her experience in feminist support groups during the 1970's and talks about the way in which the women would "hear each other into speech" that was truthful and life giving. That pregnant, attentive silence and deep hearing among the women. She then says that if "In the beginning was the Word", what preceeded the Word was the Great Listening Ear at the Center of the Universe. I still love that image and am soothed by it. The importance of real community - the patience to be with each other in silence - the real interest in knowing each other deeply.
This morning, in the last chapter of "Practicing Catholic" I am reading James Carroll's reflections on the power of language and how it is that language connects us to God - or to the larger creative life if God is an alienating word - which it often is to people.
As an Interfaith Minister I have learned to communicate without the specific religious language of my own tradition -- but in these most recent reflections since I am reading and reflecting within my tradition it is so much easier to use that specific language.
I could probably write everyday for at least a year about silence and speech - maybe I will take that on at some point. It is like breathing . . . .inhale and exhale both critical to sustaining life, both inextricably linked to each other as breath.
I have been in an exhale mode for most of the past 10 years and it has been exhausting. It reminds me of a network chiropractor that told me over 30 years ago that my breathing was so shallow it was hardly enough to sustain life! So I learned to breath more deeply and fully and it was an amazing turn around for me. I still breath deeply and fully -- and I also realize that as important is the breathing of "action-inaction". My commitment to myself this year is to have that balance restored to my life regardless of my external circumstances.
Again, dear Cathie gave me a wonderful Christmas present this year. "The Paper Garden: Mrs. Delaney (begins her life's work) at 72" by Molly Peacock. Precognition? Or just the knowledge of a life long friend? It is a perfect gift in every way. The book design is beautiful -- and the content inspiring. I come into January of 2012 hoping that I will have the health and longevity to begin my life's work now --
Blessings to everyone this morning!
Donna
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The Narrative Form
I am immersed in the book Practicing Catholic by James Carroll. And in a process of deep inner reflection questioning if I really "know" what it is I have believed for so long now. I mean this in its largest sense, not only in a religious sense. Can I, at this late date in my life, engage a certain freedom to make my life new? To leave behind some central experiences that have framed and limited my life to move into the life I have been generously given by grace.
When I started this blog after Christmas mass at Fr. Jim's house, I wasn't sure what it is, what it means, what it will "become" -- I only knew that I felt called to write again and this seems a good way to do it.
This morning, in the last chapter of this book that I will now buy for my library (I'm reading a Missoula Library copy right now), he opens the chapter by saying "I left the priesthood to be a writer. This is the very definition of my life." In order to really write, he needed intellectual and moral freedom to go where the writing would and could take him.
And following very quickly he writes something that rings true for me about why, now, I choose to write again -- and maybe even why I choose to write in a way that is shared for the first time in my life . . .
"The redemptive shape of narrative form, the unquenchable thirst for meaning, THE IMPLICATION-LADEN TENSION BETWEEN LANGUAGE AND WHAT REMAINS FOREVER UNSPOKEN, the contemplative habit of absorbedness, the dark night of the soul as a source of illumination, God as the author of creation, why we call Jesus "Word," the final inadequacy of all expression, which is the first value of it . . . "
The emphasis above is mine -- all of this spoke to me and the highlighted section above spoke to me at the level of an almost deafening roar.
I have learned so much about the need to speak and to share from my dearest friend Cathie. She and her Campus Ministry group at the College of New Rochelle were central to moving me from a soul crushing silence that kept me unspeakably lonely to a way of sharing myself in meaningful ways with others.
It was the beginning of a life long journey to create some balance between the deep introspection that comes so naturally to me and the call to be part of the community that the Gospel demands of me.
And now, in this blog, I am a bit stymied or maybe challenged is a better word, by what to put into language and what is rightly left forever unspoken . . .
Donna
When I started this blog after Christmas mass at Fr. Jim's house, I wasn't sure what it is, what it means, what it will "become" -- I only knew that I felt called to write again and this seems a good way to do it.
This morning, in the last chapter of this book that I will now buy for my library (I'm reading a Missoula Library copy right now), he opens the chapter by saying "I left the priesthood to be a writer. This is the very definition of my life." In order to really write, he needed intellectual and moral freedom to go where the writing would and could take him.
And following very quickly he writes something that rings true for me about why, now, I choose to write again -- and maybe even why I choose to write in a way that is shared for the first time in my life . . .
"The redemptive shape of narrative form, the unquenchable thirst for meaning, THE IMPLICATION-LADEN TENSION BETWEEN LANGUAGE AND WHAT REMAINS FOREVER UNSPOKEN, the contemplative habit of absorbedness, the dark night of the soul as a source of illumination, God as the author of creation, why we call Jesus "Word," the final inadequacy of all expression, which is the first value of it . . . "
The emphasis above is mine -- all of this spoke to me and the highlighted section above spoke to me at the level of an almost deafening roar.
I have learned so much about the need to speak and to share from my dearest friend Cathie. She and her Campus Ministry group at the College of New Rochelle were central to moving me from a soul crushing silence that kept me unspeakably lonely to a way of sharing myself in meaningful ways with others.
It was the beginning of a life long journey to create some balance between the deep introspection that comes so naturally to me and the call to be part of the community that the Gospel demands of me.
And now, in this blog, I am a bit stymied or maybe challenged is a better word, by what to put into language and what is rightly left forever unspoken . . .
Donna
Monday, January 23, 2012
Obedience
James Carroll is one of my favorite authors -- both his fiction and his non-fiction. I am now reading "Practicing Catholic" which he published in 2009 and I am finding it as deeply moving as his autobiographical "An American Requiem: God, My Father, and the War That Came Between Us". We are "almost" contemporaries -- he is seven years my senior. The seven years are not enough to change the dramatic effect of the Kennedy era, the Second Vatican Council and the Vietnam War era on our lives. His was a more privileged life than mine -- his father a high ranking military officer, mine a Private First Class in the Marine Corps. And that changed some things -- a sense that he has been more at the center of the institutions than I ever was. But when I read these two books I am moved from the center of my very being at how he captures these formative aspects of my own life. And I am grateful to hear him come to some of the same conclusions to which I have arrived myself along these "highways and byways" of a deep catholic spirituality, a deep sense of patriotism, and a call to live out the Gospel to the best of my ability.
This morning I am reading the chapter "The Scandal" which follows fairly closely to chapter 6 "Sex and Power". He speaks of the nature of "obedience" in terms of the vows Roman Catholic priests take and he says, "In the hierarchical order there is obedience upward, but there is obedience downward too." It is all too clear to me that the Roman power structure of our church has long since forgotten about their obedience "downward" to the people they are there to serve and I am grateful to him for this sentence that clarifies things for me. I am reminded of one of Rabbi Abraham Heschel's books where he speaks about the Commandment to "Honor Thy Mother and Father". He tells us that intrinsic to this commandment is the requirement of mothers and fathers to behave in ways that are themselves honorable. These are reciprocal vows and commandments. There is no way to separate them and be in truth. All life is at the beginning and end interwoven and relational.
So this was on my mind when I made my way to my office several hours ago to write this reflection.
One of the things I did before sitting to write, was to check in on Facebook. Last week was a hard, busy week and I haven't even looked at it in many days. I read a "Truth Out" op-ed by Chris Hedges (see http://www.truth-out.org/ if you are interested in the entire article) and was struck by how similar his reflection on the corrupt nature of electoral politics in this time is to what I read this morning relative to my beloved church. He says, "Turn off your televisions. Ignore the Newt-Mitt-Rick-Barack Reality Show. It is as relevant to your life as the gossip on "Jersey Shore."
Those who "lead" our polity use the powers of distraction from the real issues in the same ways that the Pope and the Bishops have used distraction from the real issues within our church. Both sets of actions by those who are supposed to "lead" and have obedience "downward" have covered up deep and outrageous lies that have resulted in so much damage to the dignity and quality of people's lives. So much damage to the integrity of our country and to my church.
And yet, as James Carroll says relative to the sex abuse scandal of our church, it is not only those who lead that have culpability. It is also all of us who have chosen to be distracted rather than to demand truthfulness and obedience downward from our leaders. Again, my dear Rabbi Abraham Heschel comes to mind. When speaking out against the Vietnam War he was clear that in a Democracy few are to blame and all are responsible.
Although our present days seem filled with conflict and difficulty, when I stop being distracted by all the easy distractions, I am encouraged that it is almost impossible to cover up any lie today. That truth is breaking through all of the institutional and personal lies. And that ordinary people, who are filled with the dignity of their very creation, are finding the courage to tell the truth and to refuse distractions. To assert our common human dignity and our inescapable relationship to the eco-systems in which we live.
It is painful and also encouraging. I believe from personal experience that truth, no matter how painful, actually does set us free and heal us.
I think that is all for today.
With love to all!
Donna
This morning I am reading the chapter "The Scandal" which follows fairly closely to chapter 6 "Sex and Power". He speaks of the nature of "obedience" in terms of the vows Roman Catholic priests take and he says, "In the hierarchical order there is obedience upward, but there is obedience downward too." It is all too clear to me that the Roman power structure of our church has long since forgotten about their obedience "downward" to the people they are there to serve and I am grateful to him for this sentence that clarifies things for me. I am reminded of one of Rabbi Abraham Heschel's books where he speaks about the Commandment to "Honor Thy Mother and Father". He tells us that intrinsic to this commandment is the requirement of mothers and fathers to behave in ways that are themselves honorable. These are reciprocal vows and commandments. There is no way to separate them and be in truth. All life is at the beginning and end interwoven and relational.
So this was on my mind when I made my way to my office several hours ago to write this reflection.
One of the things I did before sitting to write, was to check in on Facebook. Last week was a hard, busy week and I haven't even looked at it in many days. I read a "Truth Out" op-ed by Chris Hedges (see http://www.truth-out.org/ if you are interested in the entire article) and was struck by how similar his reflection on the corrupt nature of electoral politics in this time is to what I read this morning relative to my beloved church. He says, "Turn off your televisions. Ignore the Newt-Mitt-Rick-Barack Reality Show. It is as relevant to your life as the gossip on "Jersey Shore."
Those who "lead" our polity use the powers of distraction from the real issues in the same ways that the Pope and the Bishops have used distraction from the real issues within our church. Both sets of actions by those who are supposed to "lead" and have obedience "downward" have covered up deep and outrageous lies that have resulted in so much damage to the dignity and quality of people's lives. So much damage to the integrity of our country and to my church.
And yet, as James Carroll says relative to the sex abuse scandal of our church, it is not only those who lead that have culpability. It is also all of us who have chosen to be distracted rather than to demand truthfulness and obedience downward from our leaders. Again, my dear Rabbi Abraham Heschel comes to mind. When speaking out against the Vietnam War he was clear that in a Democracy few are to blame and all are responsible.
Although our present days seem filled with conflict and difficulty, when I stop being distracted by all the easy distractions, I am encouraged that it is almost impossible to cover up any lie today. That truth is breaking through all of the institutional and personal lies. And that ordinary people, who are filled with the dignity of their very creation, are finding the courage to tell the truth and to refuse distractions. To assert our common human dignity and our inescapable relationship to the eco-systems in which we live.
It is painful and also encouraging. I believe from personal experience that truth, no matter how painful, actually does set us free and heal us.
I think that is all for today.
With love to all!
Donna
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Aunt Helen and Baklava
This morning I am inspired by lots of things including the sparkling diamonds the moon created from last night's snow. But Aunt Helen and baklava won out.
Tonight we will be serving our homemade baklava along with Greek dinner entrees while we listen to the wonderful music of Baba Ganoush Snyder Duo at the Hangin Art Gallery here in Arlee Montana.
I thought it was funny that I was making the baklava while I watching Julie Julia for the 2nd or 3rd time. At least I wasn't trying to make it in one of those Queens kitchens (you should excuse the expression, as my Jewish friends' mothers would say).
Whenever I cook Greek food or make baklava I have these amazing and lovely thoughts of my Aunt Helen. Her parents were from Greece and she married my grandmother's brother so we had the great good fortune of eating amazing dinners and wonderful baked treats at Aunt Helen and Uncle Julie's house. Their son Vincent taught me to dance Greek dances in their living room while enticing aromas drifted in from the kitchen on the main floor and sometimes from the downstairs kitchen as well.
Vincent was my favorite cousin and I was always sad that he lived in Syracuse instead of Brooklyn because it meant I didn't see him enough to suit me in those growing up years. In fact all three of Aunt Helen and Uncle Julie's sons were cousins that brought me lots of joy.
When my father was transferred to a Xerox plant in Rochester, it meant lots more time with my Aunt Helen and Uncle Julie. By that time I was a grown woman living in New York City and then Montana - but whenever I visited my parents we would make the short trip to Syracuse to be with Aunt Helen, Uncle Julie and those great Syracuse cousins and their families too.
So this morning I am happy thinking about them and all of our good times. And I am feeling very fortunate to have these wonderful memories as part of my life.
Blessings,
Donna
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Full Moon
One of my favorite books of poetry was purchased because I fell in love with the title, "The Moon Is Always Female" - by Marge Piercy. It started a love affair with her poetry and I still am likely to pull that book from my book shelf because the title makes me smile.
Here's another beauty by Marti deAlva -- "Moonrise Over the Garden Wall". This is what I now call "my neck of the woods" but in the days of my purchase of Marge Piercy's poetry my neck of the woods was New York and I watched the moon rise over Long Island Sound.
Still, the faithful moon has been my trusted companion over all these years and all these miles I have travelled and I take deep pleasure in all her phases. It reminds me that I can take the same pleasure in my many phases -- the waxing and the waning -- the fullness and the emptiness.
I can remember standing outside in New Rochelle, gazing at the moon in a January sky through the stark branches of a tree. It was a night before it was full and it was gorgeous -- bright and clear and luminous. And suddenly I thought "but it isn't full yet . . . I don't want a portion of life or love even if it is "almost" full . . . I am going to hold out for absolute fullness."
I'm older now and hopefully wiser. And I think I've learned that it all has value and meaning and beauty.
And still - I am a die hard about wanting it all . . . . so on I go!
Blessings,
Donna
Here's another beauty by Marti deAlva -- "Moonrise Over the Garden Wall". This is what I now call "my neck of the woods" but in the days of my purchase of Marge Piercy's poetry my neck of the woods was New York and I watched the moon rise over Long Island Sound.
Still, the faithful moon has been my trusted companion over all these years and all these miles I have travelled and I take deep pleasure in all her phases. It reminds me that I can take the same pleasure in my many phases -- the waxing and the waning -- the fullness and the emptiness.
I can remember standing outside in New Rochelle, gazing at the moon in a January sky through the stark branches of a tree. It was a night before it was full and it was gorgeous -- bright and clear and luminous. And suddenly I thought "but it isn't full yet . . . I don't want a portion of life or love even if it is "almost" full . . . I am going to hold out for absolute fullness."
I'm older now and hopefully wiser. And I think I've learned that it all has value and meaning and beauty.
And still - I am a die hard about wanting it all . . . . so on I go!
Blessings,
Donna
Monday, January 9, 2012
Choose Life
Before you today is life and death . . . choose life so that you and your children may live. A rough paraphrase from what I think is an important part of the Exodus text. I first became aware of the importance of this text in the early 1980's at an interfaith service at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York City. The service was part of the demonstrations throughout New York City during the United Nations second session on nuclear disarmament. Choose life so that you and your children may live. Over all these years I come back again and again to reflect on this text.
This is the single most important choice we make in our lives - and each one of us makes it alone and for ourselves although the choice certainly has a dramatic effect not only on those around us but on all of creation. And we don't only make the choice once for all time. We make it over and over and over again in each instant of our life. We can always alter our choice. It is one of the many proofs of grace.
What is life giving and enhancing for you? For me? What paths and decisions lead to life and abundant life? Why do some of us choose life and others not so much?
It has been five days since I wrote here and it is not because of the press of the Gallery as I had feared. It was a combination of "life" intervening with time consuming and emotionally difficult tasks, and my inability to really know what I was feeling, how I was feeling and what was happening at a very deep level within me. For those of you who know me well, it isn't often that it takes me days upon days to unravel those internal states of being. This one was one of those life changing, life altering times.
And at the end of all the images and byways I have traveled during these days and nights it comes back again to what will I chooose -- life or death? And can I find the love within myself to honor those who make different choices than I do?
I choose life -- for all its challenges it seems it is what compels me. A friend once told me that human life requires great mastery because by its very nature it is filled with loss. That is certainly true. And along with the loss that always comes, it is also filled with great beauty.
Last week I promised you a post of the beautiful blessing stick that Bonnie Tarses made for me so here it is:
Bonnie wove this beauty for me from colors I chose and a word I gave her with a deep intention. It seems perfect to put into this lovely vase made by a North Carolina potter. And here is a "plug" for Bonnie Tarses, my friend who is "An Artist Who Happens to Weave". Visit her website at www.bonnietarses.com and join her blog at http://weavingspirit.blogspot.com and I promise you, you won't be disappointed. It will be a feast for your eyes and your spirit.
Beauty is the balm for my soul and in the hard times, and these past 5 days rank right up there with the hardest times of my life, it is beauty and love that carry me through. So thanks to all those artists and friends who make both of these so available to me.
So I choose life - and as hard as it is, I will also choose to find honor and respect for those I have loved who make a different choice. That one is a greater challenge, but I do believe I am up to it!
May your days be filled with beauty and life - and may you choose abundant life!
Donna
This is the single most important choice we make in our lives - and each one of us makes it alone and for ourselves although the choice certainly has a dramatic effect not only on those around us but on all of creation. And we don't only make the choice once for all time. We make it over and over and over again in each instant of our life. We can always alter our choice. It is one of the many proofs of grace.
What is life giving and enhancing for you? For me? What paths and decisions lead to life and abundant life? Why do some of us choose life and others not so much?
It has been five days since I wrote here and it is not because of the press of the Gallery as I had feared. It was a combination of "life" intervening with time consuming and emotionally difficult tasks, and my inability to really know what I was feeling, how I was feeling and what was happening at a very deep level within me. For those of you who know me well, it isn't often that it takes me days upon days to unravel those internal states of being. This one was one of those life changing, life altering times.
And at the end of all the images and byways I have traveled during these days and nights it comes back again to what will I chooose -- life or death? And can I find the love within myself to honor those who make different choices than I do?
I choose life -- for all its challenges it seems it is what compels me. A friend once told me that human life requires great mastery because by its very nature it is filled with loss. That is certainly true. And along with the loss that always comes, it is also filled with great beauty.
Last week I promised you a post of the beautiful blessing stick that Bonnie Tarses made for me so here it is:
Bonnie wove this beauty for me from colors I chose and a word I gave her with a deep intention. It seems perfect to put into this lovely vase made by a North Carolina potter. And here is a "plug" for Bonnie Tarses, my friend who is "An Artist Who Happens to Weave". Visit her website at www.bonnietarses.com and join her blog at http://weavingspirit.blogspot.com and I promise you, you won't be disappointed. It will be a feast for your eyes and your spirit.
Beauty is the balm for my soul and in the hard times, and these past 5 days rank right up there with the hardest times of my life, it is beauty and love that carry me through. So thanks to all those artists and friends who make both of these so available to me.
So I choose life - and as hard as it is, I will also choose to find honor and respect for those I have loved who make a different choice. That one is a greater challenge, but I do believe I am up to it!
May your days be filled with beauty and life - and may you choose abundant life!
Donna
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Balance and Harmony
Now it gets interesting -- I chose red for the color of font because today is a day for high alert - translated into high awareness!
The Hangin Art Gallery re-opened this morning at 7 AM after 10 days of rest for me and for the building - and for my staff to have time with family over the Christmas and New Year break. Those of you who have been following my musings know that I have determined (without much surprise) that I am not well suited by nature to retail. The pressure of time, the need to be in such non-stop extrovert mode, the physical demands all are at odds with my natural inclinations.
Yet -- and this is one of the central dichotomies of my life -- the desire to serve the community, the joy of offering hospitality, the rewards of being in the midst of the beauty and creativity of the artists whose works hang on the walls of the Gallery and whose books and fine crafts are available here -- all these things are in almost exact "counter balance" to my needs for privacy, control over my time, silence.
Part of the time "off" over the last ten days was to see if I could find a renewed enthusiasm for the Gallery. The past two years business has been off dramatically, as it has for all the small retail businesses in this area (and probably in most of the country). I know that if we are to re-build this business, I have to have a sense of enthusiasm for it, as well as my employees. So my decision to close in order to catch my breath - and to reopen on a Wednesday to Saturday schedule - are designed to help me find balance, harmony and renewed enthusiasm.
So - today's test -- could I actually find "time" in the midst of these demands -- for this blog? Guess I did!
In the days ahead it will take a strong awareness of myself in the midst of these events to help me weave a fabric of joy and integrity and creativity from the many and diverse activities in which I participate - and the non-activity I need. Great thanks for my friend Bonnie Tarses - an artist who happens to weave -- for bringing weaving into my life again, and for creating a beautiful "anchor" for my heart intentions that sits on teh shelf over my desk! Tomorrow I'll post a photo of that lovely piece of art.
More wisdom from my spiritual friends -- years ago they insisted that in this lifetime it is possible for me to be "in the world and in the contemplative hermitage" at one and the same time. So I am going to proceed with the belief in what is now present and unseen - the way forward to have all of this in one life filled with peace and joy.
Many blessings to everyone
Donna
The Hangin Art Gallery re-opened this morning at 7 AM after 10 days of rest for me and for the building - and for my staff to have time with family over the Christmas and New Year break. Those of you who have been following my musings know that I have determined (without much surprise) that I am not well suited by nature to retail. The pressure of time, the need to be in such non-stop extrovert mode, the physical demands all are at odds with my natural inclinations.
Yet -- and this is one of the central dichotomies of my life -- the desire to serve the community, the joy of offering hospitality, the rewards of being in the midst of the beauty and creativity of the artists whose works hang on the walls of the Gallery and whose books and fine crafts are available here -- all these things are in almost exact "counter balance" to my needs for privacy, control over my time, silence.
Part of the time "off" over the last ten days was to see if I could find a renewed enthusiasm for the Gallery. The past two years business has been off dramatically, as it has for all the small retail businesses in this area (and probably in most of the country). I know that if we are to re-build this business, I have to have a sense of enthusiasm for it, as well as my employees. So my decision to close in order to catch my breath - and to reopen on a Wednesday to Saturday schedule - are designed to help me find balance, harmony and renewed enthusiasm.
So - today's test -- could I actually find "time" in the midst of these demands -- for this blog? Guess I did!
In the days ahead it will take a strong awareness of myself in the midst of these events to help me weave a fabric of joy and integrity and creativity from the many and diverse activities in which I participate - and the non-activity I need. Great thanks for my friend Bonnie Tarses - an artist who happens to weave -- for bringing weaving into my life again, and for creating a beautiful "anchor" for my heart intentions that sits on teh shelf over my desk! Tomorrow I'll post a photo of that lovely piece of art.
More wisdom from my spiritual friends -- years ago they insisted that in this lifetime it is possible for me to be "in the world and in the contemplative hermitage" at one and the same time. So I am going to proceed with the belief in what is now present and unseen - the way forward to have all of this in one life filled with peace and joy.
Many blessings to everyone
Donna
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Sunrise
This beautiful photograph, Dawn Comes to Greywolf, is by Marti deAlva one of our Killdeer Artisan Guild members and a regular contributor to exhibits at Hangin Art Gallery. Living in Montana it is easy to take beautiful landscape photographs because everywhere you look there is incredible beauty in nature. One of Marti's great gifts is her capacity to capture the intimacy of this vast landscape. Her "feel" for light gives her photography a luminescence that defies description.
So this morning watching a beautiful Western Montana sunrise and that faithful sun made its way above the Rocky Mountains, my heart did some singing and I thought of Marti's photography. Made me want to share her perspective on our valley (yes, this is right here where we live) and I'm hoping she won't mind that I didn't ask her permission first.
Light. I never realized how important it is to me until I began to spend winters in Western Montana where the fall comes and then the winter and we can go weeks without seeing the sun, immersed in what they call inversions here. We know there is sun and blue sky somewhere over those inverted clouds and it takes all of my faith to believe I will see it again. When I do I remember the joy that comes from a beautiful sunrise and a bright blue sky winter day. We have one of those today and I can feel all the muscles in my chest and back and neck relaxing. Last March I went to New York and while the temperatures were cold just like here in Montana, the sun was shining every day and I realized how very much I miss that!
And then again, the winters here help me to realize how much I value those clear, sunny, bright days. And I think sometimes life is like that. They say familiarity breeds contempt. I think worse than that, both familiarity and too much busy-ness in our days, dulls our awareness. Like an internal "inversion". Our beautiful bright awareness is somewhere out there, but not visible to us.
I started this blog by saying that my commitment for this year (and hopefully the rest of my life!) is to engage being more fully human. And I can't think of a better way to do that than making a commitment to awareness. To receiving the grace all around me, regardless of whether or not the sun is shining. A dear spiritual mentor used to remind me frequently that God is everything, not just the good stuff.
So I am going to enjoy the "sunrise" in every day and every moment, even the ones that don't feel like "the good stuff". And my guess is, that the discipline to choose to see beauty everywhere, will make my world and my days pretty sunny and bright!
Donna
Monday, January 2, 2012
Relationship
I remember years ago my friend Cathie asked me why I was doing so much to try and help my grandmother, who really didn't like me at all. We were sitting in her house in New Rochelle drinking tea. And I thought for a minute and said that for me, it was better to be in relationship than not if it was at all possible.
That is still true for me.
What I have had to learn over all the years in between that conversation and today (32 years now or thereabout) is what a healthy definition of "if it is at all possible" might be. In the process of learning about that I've learned a lot about what love really means.
One of the aspects of catholic spirituality that has great meaning for me is the Trinity -- One God in Three Persons. However we want to name those three persons, the Trinity always calls us to an understanding that life is inherently relational. It is also what I love about Buddhist "interbeing".
What I've learned about healthy relationship is that there needs to be a strong, healthy "I" to be relationship, and there needs to be both reciprocity in relationship and respect. A large part of that respect has to do with honoring other people's choices, even if they aren't what we would choose for them.
And now a little note about addiction . . . the last time I will even turn my attention to it in any way. When a person is in the midst of addiction, there can be no reciprocity of relationship and no respect for another. Any kind of addiction whether it is to alcohol, food, drugs, God, work, money, yada, yada, yada. Addiction is a defense against life . . . a refusal to be responsive to our place within the larger life . . . a reason to have an excuse for everything and to never accept personal accountability.
So today I can find it in my self to honor the choices of people who choose addiction and bless them on their way.
For myself I choose life, and as a consequence, deep relationships.
Donna
That is still true for me.
What I have had to learn over all the years in between that conversation and today (32 years now or thereabout) is what a healthy definition of "if it is at all possible" might be. In the process of learning about that I've learned a lot about what love really means.
One of the aspects of catholic spirituality that has great meaning for me is the Trinity -- One God in Three Persons. However we want to name those three persons, the Trinity always calls us to an understanding that life is inherently relational. It is also what I love about Buddhist "interbeing".
What I've learned about healthy relationship is that there needs to be a strong, healthy "I" to be relationship, and there needs to be both reciprocity in relationship and respect. A large part of that respect has to do with honoring other people's choices, even if they aren't what we would choose for them.
And now a little note about addiction . . . the last time I will even turn my attention to it in any way. When a person is in the midst of addiction, there can be no reciprocity of relationship and no respect for another. Any kind of addiction whether it is to alcohol, food, drugs, God, work, money, yada, yada, yada. Addiction is a defense against life . . . a refusal to be responsive to our place within the larger life . . . a reason to have an excuse for everything and to never accept personal accountability.
So today I can find it in my self to honor the choices of people who choose addiction and bless them on their way.
For myself I choose life, and as a consequence, deep relationships.
Donna
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Beginnings
My dog Griffy made it through another night of fireworks in Arlee! He jumped on my bed at the first sounds and stayed there all night. He shook much less than usual and I'd like to think it is because my presence soothed him, but it could be because he is an old dog and maybe doesn't hear as well as he used to.
I am so happy to turn the calendar page to 2012 today. It is the first New Year's Day in over 10 years that I feel rested and peaceful. And deep within I feel a surge of excitement about where life is flowing not only for me but for the world. It is easy to look at what is wrong (media helps with that for sure) all around. But the truth is that there is a spirit of freedom and a witness for peace and a sense of unity erupting all over the world that brings joy to my heart.
I've been thinking about the fact that Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate the holiday "days" that we all mark with such enthusiasm. Years ago a friend of mine in the faith explained that when we make one day more special than others, we lose the excitement of realizing that every day is the day God made for us. And I think there is a great deal of truth in that.
Every day is a day to give "thanks", every day is a day to appreciate those we lovve, every day is a day to allow the peace of Christ to be born and to grow in our heart and our life. Every day is a day to celebrate the joy that our Irish friends bring to the world. I understand it is important to mark time and I think it is also important to bring those things we celebrate into our every day lives.
Especially New Year's. Because not only every day, but every instant, every breath brings us the possibility of being fresh and new. That's the power of Grace.
I am so happy to turn the calendar page to 2012 today. It is the first New Year's Day in over 10 years that I feel rested and peaceful. And deep within I feel a surge of excitement about where life is flowing not only for me but for the world. It is easy to look at what is wrong (media helps with that for sure) all around. But the truth is that there is a spirit of freedom and a witness for peace and a sense of unity erupting all over the world that brings joy to my heart.
I've been thinking about the fact that Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate the holiday "days" that we all mark with such enthusiasm. Years ago a friend of mine in the faith explained that when we make one day more special than others, we lose the excitement of realizing that every day is the day God made for us. And I think there is a great deal of truth in that.
Every day is a day to give "thanks", every day is a day to appreciate those we lovve, every day is a day to allow the peace of Christ to be born and to grow in our heart and our life. Every day is a day to celebrate the joy that our Irish friends bring to the world. I understand it is important to mark time and I think it is also important to bring those things we celebrate into our every day lives.
Especially New Year's. Because not only every day, but every instant, every breath brings us the possibility of being fresh and new. That's the power of Grace.
Let's dance in every day with the sheer pleasure of Becky and Denny dancing at the Arlee End of Construction party!
All wishes for peace, joy, health and abudance to everyone.
Donna
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