Here is a photo of Frank in his beautiful coop apartment on "Central Park North" as we called it when he and his partner Craig bought it and moved to Harlem from their place on Thompson Square Park. The photo is part of a cover story in Better Homes and Gardens Home Ideas publication (Fall/Winter 1998). It featured Frank and his "High Style in Harlem: Decorating with flea-market finds".
Frank made the beautiful window treatments and the throw pillow from raw silk that he hand painted before sewing them into treasures. I met him in 1984 when my partner Alan gifted me with a half day "make over" at Elizabeth Arden on 5th Avenue -- Frank was the make-up artist and from the moment I sat in his chair we became heart friends and although he died over ten years ago, he remains one of my heart friends still.
So what does this have to do with Easter and Resurrection and Beauty? I was ordained an Interfaith Minister at St. John the Divine in June of 1995 and I sent Frank and Craig an invitation to the ceremony. I thought it odd that I didn't hear from Frank and couldn't reach him by phone. And then 4 months later he called and asked me to meet him for dinner in the West Village. I did and he told me an amazing story of where he was, why he couldn't respond, and how his life had changed. In the early spring of the year he was hospitalized with advanced AIDS and Hepatitis and was told he would never come out of the hospital. He let go of his hold on his life and began what many describe as a near death experience - a soothing voice telling him to let go and move to the light. He described moving to the light in the imagery of our shared Italian heritage -- the sacred heart of Jesus and it's crown of thorns -- when he arrived there he felt he was home - in the light and love of the loving heart of Jesus who shared and redeemed Frank's suffering. Yet the voice persisted, urging him beyond the crown of thorns and the broken heart and so he continued to follow the light and entered into the glorious blazing light of the Resurrection. He realized the reality of life was that light and beauty, not the suffering and the crown of thorns. He understood that to be a disciple of Jesus was to move beyond the suffering and into abundant life.
He returned to his body - he needed to test out what he had experienced. He had an amazing recovery (he is written up in textbooks for the fact that over the next 6 months his liver regenerated) and in the following 3-1/2 years of his life he built up a successful, creative window treatment and accessory company called MU/H (short for make-up and hair!). He returned to this life and demonstrated his faith in beauty as the center of his life. I had so many wonderful days with him - especially Saturdays when I would help him fill orders - I would cut and press and he would sew his magic. These days together helped sooth my own heart after Alan died. And I was blessed to live in the light of his enormous creativity. When we went to trade shows designers from all over the country would exclaim over his incredible color sense and he was dubbed "the boy genius". At one trade show his mother made cappucinos for the designers and served them Italian cookies that she and Frank had baked. And I would hear her say to the designers, "I am the mother of the Boy Genius". Here's another photo from the "spread" that will give you a sense of why they gave him that nickname.
Frank moved beyond the macabre fascination with the crucified Jesus and his sacred heart wrapped in his crown of thorns that had permeated the imagery of our immigrant parents and grandparents. He found the truth -- the power of the Resurection is in the eternal LIFE - the eternal abundant and creative life in which we are born and in which we move and live. His memory lives on deep in my own heart - and in the beautiful hand painted silk pillows, comforter covers and table accessories he made for me.
The power of his witness urges me on when I feel it is all too hard. I remember what Alan always said about my friendship with Frank -- he would tell people "Donna could be stranded on a desert island and come back with a friend. I sent her to Elizabeth Arden and she came home with the make-up artist!". I came home with more than a friend that day. I came home with a soul mate who I came to love dearly - who loved me dearly. One Saturday when we were working together on an order in his loft - Alan gone a year or so - Frank wondered out loud if we both would have been happier choosing each other instead of our partners, in spite of his homo-sexuality. Wondering if we would have had happier lives together because of the ways in which we were so similar. The answer both of us came up with that day was "Probably".
Although I carry Frank in my heart all the time, I think of him with particular fondness each year during Holy Week as we move through the Passion and especially on the glorious morning of Easter.
Blessings,
Donna
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